A heavy sigh as I return back to the drawing board, watching the old etchings and markings dance around before my very eyes. Any attempt to perform something new is but a derivative of what was once a streaming of that chalk powder. After all is said and done, I'm but left with the sweet whispers that echo from her heart.

I am but saddened because I know I speak so much more in my stilled silence than the seemingly fantastic speech that is shown forth into this world. It amounts to nothing truly, as the living art that dwells within me is sooo much more. I only ask daily that God give me some form or some way to transcribe the pure essence of not just the greatest days of my life that he continues to bring me towards, but the menagerie of experiences and occurrences that came to fruition. Even though we were alone, I felt so sheltered from what she truly wished to say in those moonlit nights. All I see is this fear that streams from her, second guessing tomorrow.

It takes so much to even attempt to get people to understand that I am not here. And what I see, what I feel, does not take place here. What I search for daily, is not found here. Even as I simply stared at the emptied bed, her smile was so ever present. Even as I laid alone in those nights, I knew I stared up at the night sky alongside her. The heavy rains only came because tears were running down her tulip cheeks that reminds me of the endless fields of Italy in another time. That spring wonderland where my heart once resided many a lifetime ago.

I have no reason to live for myself. Nothing fills me in this void world. The only thing that brings me satisfaction is giving all that I am to one that I may call my lover. And I feel as if the one thing that keeps me from doing so is the belief that I am but the most tainted and distorted figure.

And after all of these wasteful thoughts, I only wonder if she knows, that I know, that I am not without her. That I feel her gentle caress against my skin. Her hands may be cold, but her heart is set ablaze akin to the old souls that dance before me.