My social life sucks so much, that even on the net, I feel like a complete outcast. The shit is weird. Everywhere I go, I find new groups to hang with, but they're all so...interconnected, and I'm just sitting on the outside observing. None of what they say includes me, so I just sit silently, or leave.

Well, I got Guild Wars 2 yesterday, and I have the feeling I'm going to just level up my characters on my own, not really doing anything with anyone. It saddens me because I want to explore new social groups, but everyone is still stuck on this high school "Clique" system. Even in video games its evident. My only..."reliable" group of online friends, are very...negative to say the least. We're very incoherent in team games, and its all about trolling.

My planetside 2 outfit just died recently, and I don't feel like going into detail on how that game was ruined for me by other people. (Stupid attempts to get me involved with drama that I had no part in.) Even as I was pretty much one of the administrative forces in the game, It was only for in-game purposes. Someone still tried to pin some otherworldly bullshit on me. I don't know...how to really react to the massive influx of whats going on in my life. Dreams about people I want to forget, trying to apply to school and a whole bunch of dumb shit coming from that too. It seems as if stress and crap is always on my head, and I really have no way of putting it off my mind so I can rest easy for once. Sleep is something I beg for daily, but I find no rest in it. I feel like this is the hell the bible was talking about.

I'm constantly attempting to call out to God, but it feels as if I lost my voice, so it falls on deaf ears. I constantly want to admit daily that I am un-pure, unclean, and unfit for anything.

I barely have anything to say to anyone these days. Hell, I don't even write on here as much as I used to for that sole reason. Silence. Everything I wish to say means nothing, has no weight. Its only insight to a pre-existing sickness. Yet, everyone knows this. So I lay silent.