It just baffles me...So many people seem to parrot what was laid before then thousands of years ago. For so long we've held to broken ideals that never even applied to life, and disregarded the things that actually work, and dismissed them as fictitious. I've but grown tired of pointing out the fallacies of life. I aim to see the perfections that sit crossways from me. Its come to the point where we're so afraid of progression and progress itself. Its as if its ingrained into us that all we know is war, pestilence, and foolishness of the straying of our hearts. As if we'll never see an end to this bullshit thats always painted in the illusions in front of us. Theres so much we don't know, and so much thats locked away in secret. 

I'm starting to get the feeling that if I ever want to start somewhere, I need to read the original texts in hebrew. If I'm to go anywhere in life, I have to start at the basis of protestant faiths, and even before that. I want to follow the silenced voices. I mean, afterall, they're the ones that beckon me the most.

I am in love with the essence of woman itself, for the one who visits me in my sleep, her face is unknown to me. All I have is my faith that God may shine light upon her once again.

I want to fall so deeply in love with the woman who visits me in my dreams...Her kiss feels too damn near.

How do you mend broken hearts? I only wished to see her have nights of peace and days of joy.  I got lost in a sea which was not my home... but I still wish to push her close to the sun's love. How do you give hope to the hopeless?

Never knew I'd ever play the part of the supervillain whispering sweet nothings into a lover's ear...

Who am I kidding, I just wish I could give so much more than what I can offer at the moment.
Me attempting to even explain it seems like such a daunting task.
I guess I really am too cliche for any of my emotions to mean anything.
I'm at the stage where I just want to dissappear and just induldge all my energy into my art, whatever my art is.

Thing is, I'm still so caught up on the many girls that came before her.
Still stuck on the girl who rests in another man's arms.
I know I should just let it all go and forget it, but something keeps pulling at me.
Damn, I don't even feel like writing poetry anymore. I'm done.
This blogging shit, I get tired of speaking whats not even really on my mind. I gotta keep most of it hidden.
Besides, it seems like the message I wanted to portray is spreading around nicely.
Feels like my part in the cosmic play is done. And now, just to breeze through the rest of it in silence.

I'm too busy trying to be superman when I forgot my cape at my homeplanet.

I swear everybody thought I was gonna be some neuro-theorhetical astrophysicist or some shit. Iunno.

I end up being a depressed high school dropout having a mid-life crisis at the age of 17.

I'm 19 now, and I ain't did a fucking thing with my life.

God...dammit.

Everyone is constantly on my mind, but Im so damn busy fighting theae conflicting voices, trying to find my way and what works for me without any outside influence. It sucks si bad to try and fake a smile these days to not worry anyone. Im ina world of pain, and it just wont stop sometimes. And when it does, its only for a split second.

I see you all... I hate how everything in me is so dormant and forced into silence. My old sickness was at least full of beauty and hope. It was a wellspring that simply did not have a bucket tied to the end.

This new sickness is likened to a neverending desert...

Institutional processed thought pitted against an eternal proceeding of all that is.
Conditioning pit against source.
The dry desert of lies against the wellspring of truth.

I feel like a whimsical faggoty jester twirling around like a retard coked up on drugs, playing musical instruments in his head.

I wonder if In the only one staring at the sun and seeing a world far from here.

And she'd only sigh, a slight tear in her eye as she'd reply "But I'm so in love with you and all that you are and stand for. Even if you do not love yourself. I am always with you, for I have nowhere else to go. Your heart is my home. Your wish is my command." I couldn't resist her loving kiss and the sweet embrace that followed.

And every time she visits me in my dreams, all I can say is "Youre too beautiful to love someone like me."

Days have come and gone. Andyet I have lied to myself when I say I dont learn daily. I am not alone even when I feel such. Love should be freely given. It is this oversexualized and perverted culture that promotes taking without giving. War and not liberation.  We have devolved into being fearful of even the "ideals" of love. So hidden even from our true nature. We dont even have a clue as to who we are. Its sad.

Where do I run to, where do I go.
Where do I belong, wither or thither does my heart long for.
To flow with the current is what some have professed, if only I was not so far away in the vastness of this space.

Oh where am I in this great void? Am I here, nor there, or far yonder?
Do I move, am I stagnant, or is each day but a mere passing in a grand test of patience.

Father, do you hear my call in all that I do before your watchful eye?
Or do you dismiss me as a foolish peasant amongst an endless sea of parched sands?

Was I really a fool for falling in love with you?
What was the point of all of that?
What was there to be learned from all of this?
I seemingly lost everything and gained nothing.

I only await the day that my life is fulfilled by the oncoming tides of what seems to lie in hibernation for me.
To drown in the spring's rains once again.

I gave all I can

Out of a thousand voices, a trillion whispers, theres only one that truly confounds me in my spirit. One that causes my wails and forgotten pains to cease, even for a minute. One that causes the forever to happen upon me in a single moment. A fire that burns voraciously within my bosom. Many others have spoken to me, telling me to look behind me. As I've turned I've seen nothing but voids of yesterday's mishaps, believings in nothingness itself. A primordial soup of disgust, chaos, and melancholy behavior. Yet all I can see is this veil that has been driven into my eyes of what I truly saw in my night's slumber. Dreams of places I have not visited to, yet have felt like home. Trees towering far above my imagination, with fruit the size of mine cranium. Dreams of flying far beyond the clouds, soaring into the ether realities of another realm. There is nothing that can withstain this hunger that has become my fuel. Nothing can replace even the sweetest nights in these dreamlands. Each dawn is a curse upon my troubled self as I walk through the plains, detailing of the sights from the night before, to those who care not for what my heart entails to. The forever love I felt within me, with an uplifting breeze towards heights far beyond the comprehension of man, angel, or any thing but infinitude itself. What I've seen, felt, and have experienced, is far beyond heaven, far beyond any possible explanation. It wasn't a dimension, it is complete seperate from the faculties thereof to this foolish happening. In one night, I saw the entirety of the universe at its dawning climax. The explosion that brought forth light, thought, existance, love, matter, energy, everything, was enough to put anyone in a catatonic state. I heard the very trumpets sound off as this reality was birthed into existance. I heard a voice boom from within that superheated core as it stormed off in two directions. Space, and time, intertwined in a marriage beyond our understanding. I have seen the fabric of life as it has become intertwined with all those I have happened across, and those whose faces my eyes haven't graced upon.

This reality, this falsified blight upon the souls of mankind, is but a resounding cosmic joke to those who truly live. I care not for anything, but for what money cannot possibly ascertain. My hunger is for what my mouth cannot bring to fruition into this long journey. Even as my life is but a breath in the cosmic winds, my breath brings forth much more than any dying word amongst the sordid hearts of lovers melded to an un-existance, living far from themselves. Even as I speak of what seems to be a multitude of things, there is a gnawing of my heart, seeking to rid me of what I wish to have given for so long. To speak of how, not what. How to abstain from a diminshed life, to see far beyond the veils of words and simplistic imagery. So many seek to ascertain titles as a means to determine self worth, but this is but a known fact in life. Many seek to epitomze themselves as leaders, yet will not follow the waking waters of roads paved in love. Many seek to be leaders, yet their minds are far lofted from truth, unbeknownst to them, that they blindly lead the blind to their own morbid hollowed portrayals of nothing.

Many have come before me, speaking to the life within myself, telling me of loves  wings. I have seen the faces of the living. Even as their bodies decompose as we speak, they are much more alive today, than of yesterday's midsummer madness. Those of old, have always spoken so freely to the lost souls of today's carpathian element. Drained slaves, slouched in front of their masters, clinging onto every empty speech and word. Their gods, with their sins tattooed upon their very souls, purging them of every sweet drop of purity right from the lungs of these deluded flesh clumps. So many have been reduced to comical caricatures of their true dwellings. Tis the most horrific occurence for a man to lose all that he is, in favor of the physicality. Losing the eternal, for complacent thoughts from the ascertaining of nothingness. These things shall come and go, speaks the echoes of many hearts that have come to you. These echoes have resounded long before even the dawns of great civilizations, detailing the foreverlasting truth of what love is.

I reminisce many dreams of a beautiful maiden dancing amongst the endless stilled waters of a forgotten sea. She poignantly pranced within inches of the waters, so freely and in complete bliss. She was arraigned with fabric sewn by the freedom clouds. Dark hair that stretched forth to the horizons, a face of beauty that cannot be found in any dimension, nor realm, nor thought, nor humane imaginatory place. Not even the heavens themselves could contain such a beautiful vision, and I've seen the doorsteps to the ether clouds. I've seen the throne of the mighty lover. I've seen the feet of love itself, as I kneeled before his immensive presence. I did not come on my own accord, but was invited to sit near my father. I hunger naught for this life, but simply for my father to lay his eyes upon my soul once again. He need not spake, nor move, but simply have eye to all that I am. I am likened unto a savage beast, roaming the lands for his next meal. But evenso, I only wish to drink of the free-flowing honey of life itself. What does the fruit of life entail? Gains that your hands can experience? Bah, let not contorted remarks discredit what is already placed upon thine lips. For all that you seek, is already hidden deep within the threads of your breath, you just choose not to see what is been here forever.

A woman's love can do more than part the seas of misery. As ye rest thine head against thy lover's bosom, hear the resounding drum of the roots of life.

My fellows, my words are all in vain. Those that we deem the greatest, whisper in the winds not to regard them, not to listen, yet they beg in our favor to the one that holds us in the eternity. And if anything, take not their words, but the waters of the depths that flowed so feverishly through the cracks of the shells from their lives. Breathe in and leave behind all that did not matter. Worry not for symbollic messages hidden in images and the like, for nothing can triumph against love. Nothing. If it does overcome, it was not of the infinitude. Find without seeking, for there is no reason to seek. All that life offers is yours freely. It is freely given. For what is not freely given, is not worth partaking. Define yourself not by what you are capable of, as a matter of fact, define not at all. Leave that to those of cerebral life. Continue on in the induldgence of heart-felt matters and what love brings thereof. Seek thine own depths. What men deem is matters beyond comprehension, is only common sense. Things of the "spiritual" sense are only common sense. Speak newly so that ye shall bring forth a new world. Isn't that just but basic common sense? How dare we allow ourselves to bathe in the entrails of a deadened horse and not see the beautiful forest clearing that surrounds us? What good does it do that we bathe in the dead acts of men and not see the light that bathes us?
Those we deem the greatest are not far from us at all. Even those whose spirits are free'r than the night sky, I have partaken in their highest points, and their lowest. I am but the infinitude, as ye all are as well. For we bear together in triumph, and in pain. We are those that give great wounds to ourselves, and we are those that bring the healing ointments upon famished skin and tongue. Bound together in nothing but love, and nothing shall prosper against thee. Nothing shall come across ye as an enemy. For even thine adversary shall lie down his sword in tear and agony and beg for thine forgiveness, for in hope, they shall see the truth in eternity. Forgiveness is your greatest weapon. Your greatest shield is love. All else matters not. Life, love, and all else, are but one. They are a resounding metaphor whose tail stretches to the far reaches of the universe, the dimensions thereof, beyond the veils, and to the infinitely small particles and base energies that confound our physical realm. Join in the eternal songs of what truly moves. Sit in thyself and see movement. See the threads of life surround its jaws upon victory's neck.

What men deem as "Chaos magicks" are simply the manipulation of the most tender energies of this reality by the will of it. That is the magic behind the human anima. That is the power that lies within all of us. "I think, therefor, I am.". I will it, so shall it be. My fellows, please will yourselves towards the greater that lives inside thineself. Even the most tedious and towering objectives could be conquered in a mere morn if ye so wish. The heart is able to perform much more than what the hands and mind could ever conceive. But because of the over-medicated and superficial devices of today's encompassing miasma of insanity, we have fallen far from our paths. Arise those that have chosen nothingness. See the truth of the warped void ye take part of. See the cursed bread that feeds the maggots upon your lying tongues. Abod from the physical, see fully the life embedded upon thine threads. It is meant for you. You deserve it fully for the sole fact that you are a child of infinity.
As true beauty lies in the eye of the beholder of all lives, look at your life through heaven's eyes. No such thing shall ever compromise the true worth hidden deep beneath the folds of thine heart.
There is a plane far beyond the confines of self, where all souls come to frollick and meet. Some come to dance above the waters, intertwined amongst themselves in helix forms, others drown beneath the depths of the seas of love. To those who have been blinded of this heaven, the lovers seem to have lost the flame of life in their tranced state, but watch as the rolling tides posess the limbs of lovers, forcing them against all impossibility to forgo the release of all that tenderness. Their hands gently caressing against a lover's cheeks, a kiss moved by love's progressive motions.

I dont like the phrase "I am." I am not one to speak for, or of myself. I wish for my life to speak wjst my lips cannot. If "
I am" anything, I am nothing.

Tonight, I got a first-hand account at how cruel this world can be...
But even in the midst of our pains, I also see how...life...pairs us with the right people for the right reasons.
Wether it be to give or recieve, you learn so much from even the dust in this life.

If we're all spiritual beings, born into a temporary physical existence, then why the fuck...Just...why the fuck.

A retelling of old tales. We are all Adams searching for Eve.

One of my main issues in my life is not knowing anything about myself. I don't know what the fuck to think of myself half the time. I don't know who or what I am. All I have are just small values of attempting to make this world a better place when I can, or even if I can. Just trying to make sure no one has to suffer or endure the mind torture that I did in my past.

I can't really define myself at all. I have my music, I have my dreams, But none of it seems to have any value really. I don't know where to go with them. Follow your dreams, but if I do, I'd have to die to go with them, or fall into a coma. I'm not necessarily confused, I just don't know how to go about life. How I'm supposed to live except in this present moment. I don't know whats in store for me, or even if theres anything out there for me anymore. My life is blank. And every attempt I take at trying to add color to it, is null and void. 

Maybe theres color in this spaciousness. I just can't see it yet.

Maybe everything already is, we just can't see it yet. Maybe its happening as we speak, but we can't see time in the correct formation.

"So empty like sky
Without any sun
Lotus blossum don't cry.
You and I were meant to be one.
And though we're apart,
It won't be for long.
I come to you in my song." -Michael Franks

I want to speak to someone, yet my mind is blank and my heart spacious.
Maybe my hands moved by the washing waters of love could speak much more than vain word.

I'm in love with a woman who's face is unfamiliar to me.
Her voice is but a whisper in my dreams.
Each song is an echo of her love for me.
Each iteration, each day is but her painting in the skies for my own eyes.
I beg for her to forgive me for the days I've spent inside, far from her heart.
I know she sees me, feels me, hears me, kisses me deeply at the drop of a thought.
But for some reason, I still question if she knows the weight of her little daydreams.

I wonder sometimes how I'd react if some of these celebreties actually walked into my life. What I would do, how I would react. Most of the time, I'd only see them as a human being, going through some of the same shit I'm going through. I wouldn't want to treat them any differently. Probably with a bit of respect, but just as much as I'd treat anyone. I mean...I wonder how I'd react if I'm just hanging on South Beach, and Kim K. decides to walk up to the shores next to me. I wouldn't really say much honestly. The things I concern myself with have no place in most people's minds. If Nujabes was there, I'd just jam to him playing his flute all day.
We wouldn't say a word but listen to the music our father would play before us.

Eddie Murphy? Probably just laugh at the sole fact that he's there. Prolly tell him to go back to comedy and stop doing kid's movies. Do his old acts and whatnot like he did for his RAW show.

So I'm playing Planetside 2, there was a huge update today...And my favorite gun was broken. I can't use most of my attachments that I earned out of fucking nowhere. But anyways, we're defending The Crown today, and I saw this guy who was a dead body, moving towards the fucking spawn point and shit. My brain fucking stopped. Then the body started flying upwards, and exploded, killing like 5 of our guys. I saw like 6-7 teamkills on the right side of my screen when it happened.

I don't know...what the fuck just occured. But this game feels like some free-to-play bullshit from some indie company that wants to troll the world with its severe autism.

Like...Fuck...This shit

Both of my parents have too many flaws. My dad is ex-military so of course he's hard-headed and straight-forward. But it sucks to hear depression in his voice. Him having to deal with bills and payments and shit.

I'm sitting here looking at both of my parents wondering why the fuck they hate each other so much after 19 years, and why they just killed themselves over nothing

TO achieve NOTHING.
Pursuing a dollar for no fucking reason whatsoever.

I mean sure, I got the best video games, all the systems, all the computers, but I lost my family. I lost my peace of mind. I'd rather throw all this shit away and live in the middle of a forest than to endure having all of this.

People tell me to be thankful for all of it, but this is nothing to be thankful for. That I lost the love of my family, because of their own internal angers.

I don't want to spend 30-40 years of my life doing bullshit in hopes of securing a future when my future is now. I don't want to do so IN HOPE that things will get better. I want to better myself now. I want to take steps to live NOW. I want to do all that I enjoy and love NOW. Not wait til later just because of this abnormal ass monetary system we've adopted that goes all against our true nature.

I think...If theres anything I can be thankful of, its to see the example that my parents placed in front of me, telling me what the fuck not to do in my life. What not to pursue. But man...I wish I knew what I'm supposed to do.

She wears her long hair like a winter coat.
I see her staring out the window of that coffee shop awaiting the day of her soul mate's face to be revealed to her once again in this life.

I truly await the day for at least one to hear the rolling waters of my heart, my voice is but silenced within me, someone arouse the hibernating bear so that he may greet the coming spring tides. Set me free.

Never mistake the key to the city for the key to life.

Wondering eyes peering so deeply into that great beyond, hungering lips with a deep desire to bite, a cosmic game of tug-o-war between two hearts. We always wonder who shall win between the two, thinking there must be seperation, but they are one. That sweet wave of running closer, and drifting apart. Tis but life.

Maybe I'm just angry and lost with no self control. Maybe I'm the one to blame. And if so, I wonder what the course of action is to go about it to fix things.

Man. After everything is said and done, she says she wants me in her life, but won't put any type of effort in trying to contact me. My phone calls and rings fall on deaf ears. She wants me to talk to her and stay in her life, but I don't ever recieve any type of feedback. I feel as if I wated 8 years of my fucking life, trying to work for something that wasn't there. I feel as if I wasted 8 years of my life trying to build something up with someone that seemingly doesn't want anything to do with me. Like, the shit sucks.

My heart hurts so much, and I'm just sitting here wondering why all this had to come down this way.
I loved that girl, and each night do I see her in the arms of someone else, rehashing old words that were said.
She reminds me that I was first, but it sure as hell doesn't feel that way anymore.
I'm trying to keep an open mind and an open heart, for God's sake, hoping that I can at least salvage something, but the more I keep looking at it, the more I want to throw it away and start anew with someone else.

The trust we had seems far gone. The connection we had seems like it was just yesterday's dream.
Don't call me perfect to my face, saying I'm such a good person, when you're sitting there wrapped in his arms. This life is so backwards. I'm over it and I'm ready to move on. Only reason I called back because that little voice in my head said you needed me when my whole body said to just run away. You really don't need me, and its evident. Don't do anything to or for me just because you feel like you owe me something.

I've been through this too many times before. Don't say you want to be friends with me at the end of it all, but show no effort to at least keep this boat afloat.

I tried. And I tried hard. I was willing to do things no one would ever even catch me doing just for you. Just to secure a future for you and me. Just to quell all those fears you and I both had. I was willing to do all that.
All of this, all of what you put me through, drastically changed my opinion on women. Like...badly.

And at the end of it all, I'm still willing to take blame and responsibility too.

Thine heart is what I hunger for, like a deranged beast, hung on a leash, chained to hell's madness.

I feel the hate and I keep asking... Why do they think I'm the pretentious faggot? 

I just wanna see my team do good. I ain't even got a team no more.

Matter of fact, I just want everyone with clear minds, clear eyes, and open hearts.

Wayyy too much people can't see behind that curtain. 

Behind them cameras.


-chuckles- Its funny because just yesterday, I didn't even see any beautiful girls worthy of themselves.
Now they're just trickling out the woodworks into my life. Damn...A nigga's getting a car tomorrow, and I had an entire day of feeling that warm peace. Springtime is coming. I'm just wondering when I can shine the light on whats goin on.

So many options, Just waiting for more open doors.

I plucked the red rose that now lies in my heart now wilted.
But damn, I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the entire forest and meadows full of tulips and a myriad of other beautiful flowers.

Damn...

Love at first sight? Hell yes I believe it. Stare deeply into the eyes of someone. Set yourself deep in that stillness and arouse the waters that lie so dormant. Boom...

Too many people shift the focus on themselves when they recieve the energy from being a focal point in the universe.

Let us not lose course deifying ourselves into a falsified godhood.

To be a god is a denial of self for those around you.
To become like the dust to uplift the low and teary-eyed.
We speak so much about having the power.
Lets use it for once.

Profit is their Prophet.

Does that woman, oh so beautiful with waterflowing hair...
Does she hear the trumpets of my resounding heart?
It seems as if all I have is the hope that she hears.

My obsession, my life...

Listening to the Maplestory soundtrack, remembering all the times I had as a kid playing free to play games and having fun with all the people I met. All of them so dear to me. I feel so sad now because I know I'll never have great experiences like that. The internet, online-communities, and gaming communities have become so diverse, hateful, spiteful, and god-awful. No one is willing to share such great and intense friendships that are so close and dear to the heart as we used to. I felt as if I was sucked into another world just hanging out with my friends that didn't feel so far as everyone else thought they were.

For a very long time, my best friends were always on the computer. I never had a reason to really go outside and explore the world around me. Everything feels as if its gone to shit. The games I used to play have been destroyed or changed dramatically to bring in more players. When I was younger, games felt like they were catered to the gamer, not the consumer. Now everything is focused on the "Casual gamer" and their hipster bullshit. My reason for playing retro games is not for the nostalgia, but for the experience they offer compared to the gritty near-realistic shit we have today. There were entire worlds created for me to enjoy and experience. And they were much more skill-based. I can barely play any of those old SNES games because of how much I've been dumbed-down by modern games. I feel as if my mental capacity has been reduced. Maybe I should play some more Brood War.

I guess I'm being forced to realize that I do have to go outside and explore "The Real World"

"BUT ITZ DANGEROUZ"

No, thats not my argument. My argument is the fact that everyone has turned into a gray mush of puddingfuck and catastrophic mind-boggling insanity. There are very few people that I've come across that have a flavor to themselves. And by god, I had to use the internet to find them.

Just because I live in Miami, everyone tells me to go to the club. To try and jam to music I don't like, surrounded by people I can't stand, trying my best to just enjoy the night. So many people take my comments as being elitist or "IM BETTER THAN THESE PEOPLE." Yer goddamned right I'm better than what they choose to do, not who they are as people. I love myself too much to put myself into that type of situation to degrade myself. Grinding myself against a random girl I have never met before does not bring me joy. It feels wrong. "BUH GWEG. WHAT ABOUT THAT WHOLE LISTA OTHA SHIT U BE DOIN."

Bitch, fuck you. I do what I want. If I want to go have a couple drinks at a jazz club and listen to people recite bullshit poetry, then lemme do me. I've been through the whole phase of trying to change people and shit. Fuck man, I get so tired of complaining and not being able to just do what I want to do. Matter of fact, I don't even know what I want to do. In short term or long term goals. I have none. Don't really care for anything. All I got are these dreams, trying to chase after a fairytale that I know ain't real.

Its days like these that make you just want to throw everything at the wall, do all the drugs you can find, and hope to God you make it to heaven as you lay down in your death bed. What more is there to this life? Do I just run after the status quo? I only feel good staring at art. Being able to see into the mind of someone else, to see the complex structures they create, the colorful worlds that contrast so greatly from this one we live in. But games today are like a wake-up call to show us how fucked up our lives are. How un-colorful, boring, violent, and shitty this life is.

What can we do to change it? How do we fix it?

I had so many friends and people tell me that I'm the problem. I'm the center of it, complaining.

I wonder how deaf they were, because they seem to not remember me asking 24/7 "How do we fix it...What can I do to make a difference. How do I be happy. Do I accept the bullshit around me? Or do I change it? And if I want to change it, how do I?"

Its gonna take much more than shitty charity organizations that steal money to fix this world.

My city ain't safe no more. Years ago, it was never like this. Or maybe I was just blind to it.

http://www.miamiherald.com/2013/03/02/3263449_p2/shootings-hit-close-to-home-for.html

Just wish I had a chance to show what I'm capable of.
But...even if I got the chance, everything I have to offer isn't of value to anyone.

Ahhh Hohs-nayru-ber-ruphie.

Instead of asking if you're the girl I saw in my dreams, maybe I should start asking if she's WILLING to BE the one I saw.

I'd rather dive into the wellspring of her life, than to dive into questions about her.

To drink of her lips, rather than contemplating if she's willing to share a kiss with me.

The boldness of a lion shouts forth from my heart, I know she hears my roar.

He felt.
She felt.
Skin unconditionally close, flying through the galaxies on the wings of the eternal host.

Time, physical placement, that all meant nothing.
What they experienced together, only they know.
But evenso, they remain speechless in such a endeavour.
So close, they feel the rushing huffs and puffs as they lie in seperate beds.

He was like Dhalsim, reaching halfway across the world for her love.
And yet, she anxiously awaits his next arrival.

"Hurry don't be late. I can hardly waiiiiit, I said to myself when we're oooold."

Her: "I wish I could stare up at the nights sky, wrapped in your arms, watching the stars dance forever, in the middle of nowhere with you."

Me: "I wish I could too, but I'd be too busy staring into your eyes, hungering for your lips."

Everything feels like a DDOS attack to the heart. Where truth stems from.

As the night skies lay their rest upon my eyes, I see her gazing at me from afar in the midst of her daylight. We seem to be so far from each other, but her nearness brings warmth.

Stigmatizing sex.
Stigmatizing love.
Stigmatizing life itself.

After the stigmatas, then comes the perjury and perversion of all that is pure.

God fucking dammit, everything is so stigmatized. Every fucking thing. The only things that aren't are obedience and small mindedness. Its as if its all enclosed to turn you into willing slaves. Providing you no other options because you were so willing to not think outside the coffin.

Too many puppets who are strung to wrong puppetmasters. The right puppetmasters are liberating shepards. Be vigilant on who and what you allow to be head over your life. Recieve the diadem of life which is your birthright. Its crazy how racism runs so deep.

I cant even like a white girl with curves without receiving flack from people on both sides. Like In a stereotype for falling in love with someone. I feel so alien around people because of all this chicken and watermelon bullshit. I feel like I have to hide entire aspects of who I am as a person these days.

People always say theyre so surprised to find out Im black after.they see me. They say i write or portray myself as white when I just carry a certain vernacular. Im a poet. Its my thing. I love the beauty of being able to express myself in such a colorful way.

What really sucks is being labelled gay or homosexual because I have a more open heart than most men. Its like being emotionless robots is the new thing. Nobody loves themselves enough to not degrase themselves, and people dont reallize how hard they perpetuate the stereotypes as well as the racist attitude that has almost become one with our society.

Think about it. I cant live in certain countriesb because of my color. I have tp research how people in that area feel about peoplw of color. As if Im some alien creature frol the nethervoid.

I swear to youand everyone that does and doesng read this blog, yohre human and you matter. You are important. Even if you die tomorrow,live your life fod the bestof yourself and live peacefully with all those you come across. The hands of your heart in silence perform mucb more than anyone could even begin to partake in the fathomry of such.

I have simply grown tired of beong the puppet, the dancing monkey, the boackface fool fpr everyones entertainment. I want to live freely, to love freely without worry cor trivial bullshit and differences.

Its a race thing because it was made this way. You might think all these black men and women on TVare successful, but thays the biggest lie. Trust me. Do what you do, whats meamt for you, what your heart whispers for.

-via Mobile

( i hate touchscreens and having big hands)

I see everything that stemmed from people of color being perverted and perjuried into a cash cow. From theology, to music. Pythagorean theorem was an ideal stolen from the egyptians. Shit reminds me of FLCL when Medical Mechanical planned to iron out the creases in the world.

I reminisce over the daydreams I shared with her. We were in the midst of a spacious void littered with star sparkles. As we looked out from the window of our space station, my hand clasped with hers as we shared a kiss that surged greater than the oceans. It feels all like a tailored dream from a lonely bastard who never had a chance. Or as if that chance has come and gone already. -sighs- Only time will tell.

Every moment that passes, I hear a little voice screaming "I'm not from here. I'm not from here. I'm not from here." As if its a reminder about something. I don't fit. I just don't fit. People take my thinking as me being narcissistic or egotistical, but I'm the one feeling subhuman or...alien. Its all....so outlandish. And at the end of everyday, I sit alone staring at the red rose that haunts me.

Nevermore were the good sheperds for they all aspired to be Hugh Hefner.