Man. After everything is said and done, she says she wants me in her life, but won't put any type of effort in trying to contact me. My phone calls and rings fall on deaf ears. She wants me to talk to her and stay in her life, but I don't ever recieve any type of feedback. I feel as if I wated 8 years of my fucking life, trying to work for something that wasn't there. I feel as if I wasted 8 years of my life trying to build something up with someone that seemingly doesn't want anything to do with me. Like, the shit sucks.

My heart hurts so much, and I'm just sitting here wondering why all this had to come down this way.
I loved that girl, and each night do I see her in the arms of someone else, rehashing old words that were said.
She reminds me that I was first, but it sure as hell doesn't feel that way anymore.
I'm trying to keep an open mind and an open heart, for God's sake, hoping that I can at least salvage something, but the more I keep looking at it, the more I want to throw it away and start anew with someone else.

The trust we had seems far gone. The connection we had seems like it was just yesterday's dream.
Don't call me perfect to my face, saying I'm such a good person, when you're sitting there wrapped in his arms. This life is so backwards. I'm over it and I'm ready to move on. Only reason I called back because that little voice in my head said you needed me when my whole body said to just run away. You really don't need me, and its evident. Don't do anything to or for me just because you feel like you owe me something.

I've been through this too many times before. Don't say you want to be friends with me at the end of it all, but show no effort to at least keep this boat afloat.

I tried. And I tried hard. I was willing to do things no one would ever even catch me doing just for you. Just to secure a future for you and me. Just to quell all those fears you and I both had. I was willing to do all that.
All of this, all of what you put me through, drastically changed my opinion on women. Like...badly.

And at the end of it all, I'm still willing to take blame and responsibility too.