Welcome Home

 With the wings that I've been prescribed with, I can only find flight for a short amount of time until I return to the same hellish prison that I belong in. But should I belong here? I've started to question it with every attempt that I wish to flee. I always said that I belong in this miasma of confusion and loneliness, so why do I fight it so often? The swift dichotomy that washes over me refuses me to allow myself to answer these age old questions. So I simply reset behind these bars and accept that it simply may be my own home.

Fatigue

 Its so hilarious to me that the most celestial forms of my heart are all tied to the void in itself. To express daily heartbreak was always met with seals as the whole world speaks of tearing off the sigils that have kept my mouth under lock and key. Not a single ear has drawn to my voice, and yet I am usurped by the gravitational pull of every heart that surrounds me. I'm reminded daily as to why I wish not to participate in this life. It all amounts to nothingness. Every undertaking and every effort has no merit when none can recognize the love you contain deep within. I can feel the frost of this world resting on my bones and I have no form or way of shaking free or finding warmth amongst those that surround me. I wish I had the opportunity to display to the world how much of a demonic entity that I can be. The worst form of monster under each dwelling. But its not within my essence to disturb the world around me. To fade into memory was one of my greatest desires, but its not so simple or easy of an undertaking.  To cease the waters of my heart and to shut up the wellspring thereof... That was always my endgoal.

Winter Calls

 Tis the season where I am always left wondering where in the aft aspects of reality do you reside. Tis the season where the world grows to a shivering halt, and yet my heart blisters forth with warmth as if fed by Spring itself.

Uncomely

 The agony of the day as I dream through rose-tinded lenses of my youth. Oh how I miss the days so dearly even in the midst of my tears and torrential rains, I still am able to recall the music of laughter surrounded by so many faces. But how I rue my days in slumber and drunken tendencies. How much I thirst after the taste of strawberry wine upon your lips. I bathed in your arms, the bittersweet liquor that coursed between wanderlusting souls. But alas, I was alone in my little love story concocted in my sinful mind. The fire that lit the Northern star of my life has long since diminished, and the only warmth I find comfort in is in the burn of strong drink that causes my blood to cease into permafrost.

I could never conceive that my fingers were laced with the poison that caused your heart to become so bitter that you would turn away in utter disgust and displeasure at the mere sight or mention of my accursed name. 

It matters not, for life shall move on with or without one as disheveled and uncomely as I. Each night is spent in argument with myself to convince the other that I have not completely lost all of my usefulness, that I still have some form of value amongst men.

Under The Shade

 Under the shade of the mango tree was where my heart resided in all of my youth. Basking in the sun underneath the protection of my eldest sister. In her greatest seasons she would sustain me with the sweetness of her fruit while opening her roots to listen to each and every word that would spill from my deafened heart. The conversations were always selfish in my favor, for I could not easily hear her words, but I felt her caressing me in my lonesome on the best Autumn days as she would bear fruit towards the world.