I wrote this while drunk #1

As I sit here drunken in my own pain of things unknown to anyone but the love that resides in me, I wonder...I wonder if the love that flourishes from the vessels within me will ever reach the ones I call out to. I wonder if she still feels the same or wants to run from me. I don't blame her. Sometimes I want to tell the world to let me die as I sip from the alcohol so close to my blood laden fingertips. I miss you more than words could ever explain. My heart yearns for yesteryear. Of the hunger I once felt to lust and love for you. When I could no longer go a day without singing to your heart. I go days without hearing from you now. All I ever wanted to do was love you. The world thinks the worst out of me when I just want to unseal the dreams I've had of everyone, especially of the love that yearns for you. What more could I ask for? What more could I desire than to lay cradled unto your breast? Unto the hidden love that resides in me and you? I miss my youth when my hunger and my pain were my food. These days are void of both. I'd rather live with this hunger in my vessels than to live like this, completely devoid of any joy and pain. What I live is more painful than any pain itself. When the world looks at me, they can't understand, so they label and downplay everything about me thinking I don't know the depths of their hearts. What they truly lust and strive for. My people are dead and I cannot revive them. What a shameful existance I thrive in when the world hates me when I just want to love them like no man could. I want to run back to my childhood where I could lay in your arms, distance aside. What more could a man ask for than this love for his forevermore?! WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR?! WHAT FUCKING MORE COULD I EVER WANT FROM YOU OR ANYONE ELSE?! WHAT COULD I ASK FROM THOSE WHO CANNOT GIVE?! FOR GIVING IS RECEIVING IN ITSELF! THEY CARE NOT FOR ANYTHING BUT THEIR OWN SELF GAIN! I care not for these temporary thing that shall come and go like a summer breath of yesteryear. But I long for  those breaths to hold you in my arms furthermore.