Seemingly trapped in the ideals of yesterday, seeking out the tender kisses of tomorrow. I question all of my moralities at the possibility at what could've should've been my mortality. My undoing. To gaze into that sweet abyss of her eyes once more was all that I needed to rise above that pit, and yet, her heart...Even though she lies in another man's arms, I feel her call. And there be no question as if my heart sill pours out for her, but...I constantly ask, how do I proceed forth?


I guess the pain I feel comes from knowing that her and I are no longer together. The dreams I had with her were just that. Dreams. Nothing more. I don't portray it well, but I'm not angry at her. Theres no valid reason for me to be angry at her, or even sad. But I still feel the pangs of loss. I found both a reason for living and a reason for dying in her heart. Now, I have nothing but memories. Yet, I feel selfish in all of this ordeal. I sought her for marriage to consolate the death that resided within me. I killed her iwth a guise of false love, attempting to cover up the past that my life seemed to hold so close to my veiled eyes.


I wish to set her free. I wish to set everyone free from my burdens. My existance be but a blight and a mere breath in this cosmic sea. I await each day with expectations of nothing, hope in nothing but the pains to be freed from my troubled soul, and belief in a voice I once heard many an eve ago.

Fuck this shit, I need a damn drink...